Ninja Knights (1988)

This minor cut-and-paste film was originally released in Hong Kong as part of IFD’s Official Exterminator series, with the catchy name of Official Exterminator 5 : Enter The Victory. It was renamed Night Of The Ninja in the US and (creatively) Ninja Knights here in the UK. Unfortunately, despite the natty cover (which looks great side by side with Rage of Ninja, also releasedby Apollo Entertainment), there’s really not much ninjing in this one. It comes from the late phase of IFD’s 80s run where they were moving away from ninja films and hedging their bets in other genres. By toning it down and having such a meaningless title as Enter The Victory, this could’ve been sold as a straight “adventure” picture. However, they dropped a couple of ninja scenes in it too, just in case a buyer wanted a ninja film. Such was the way they operated at the time; the glory days of film sales! To make matters worse, because UK censors removed footage of “offensive” ninja weapons like shuriken, about 90% of the ninja scenes here were cut from the UK release. So if, like me, you were sucker enough to buy the Apollo tape, you wouldn’t get much bokken for your buck. Great cover tho.

Sadly, it’s hard to pin down either the origin of the material or anyone involved beyond the usual IFD crew (most of the credits are fake names). “Bob Chan” takes the director’s credit onscreen, but Godfrey Ho is named on the box art and it has Ho’s style all over it, so I’d be happy to accept he made the caucasian footage here. I’ve no idea what the source film that it’s spliced into is though. It’s almost certainly a Taiwanese ‘black’ film from 1980 – 1982 but, despite looking for some time, I can’t find a potential suspect so if you have any ideas, please leave a note in the comments!

In its recut form, Ninja Knights opens with a dramatic heist sequence and the theft of a precious diamond known as the Star Of India. This belongs to Hector Bates, a businessman who’s angry about the heist but immediately makes a big insurance claim. The investigator, Mr Chan, says he’ll start investigating the claim at once and Bates says “great, let’s open the champagne!” and they toast to… uh… starting an insurance investigation. Is this normal? Who knows? The reason for it is apparently to show that Bates is quite “relaxed” about the theft which, it turns out, is because THE REAL Star of India is still in his possession. He arranged the theft of a fake one as a big insurance scam.

Yeah, this is a very similar plot to Ho’s far superior Ninja Thunderbolt. Mr Chan is smarter than Bates thinks. however. He knows it’s a scam and tells his employee Nick (Paul John Stanners) that “Hector Bates is no Mr Rogers!” so Nick needs to keep an eye on him while Chan tracks down the real gemstone. Nick is your typical insurance investigator by way of James Bond (!). He spends his free time doing some kind of Tai Chi/gymnastics thing in the park and neglecting his unnamed and permanently topless British girlfriend in the name of professionalism. There’s a (fairly graphic) sex scene in progress just as Mr Chan calls Nick up to ask for his help and his girlfriend gets left on the bed in favour of the exciting world of insurance investigation. Not for the first time either. “You always do this to me… EVERY TIME!” she moans. “I hate you… you son of a bitch… UP YOURS!”

Ridiculous dialogue aside, this is a reasonably clever setup for a cut-and-paste movie as it keeps Nick and Bates out the way of the Taiwanese story while still tying both plots together. Or so you’d think. Sadly, the Taiwanese story falls almost immediately off a cliff and has almost nothing to do with the stolen goods.

Instead, we get a guy called Steve Chin, a former gangster who had his hand cut off and quit the business. He’s struggling to find straight work as a doorman and yearns for an innocent and simple life like his innocent and simple niece has. She sells flowers and likes packed lunches with tofu and chicken legs in them. Unfortunately, her mother gets hit by a car, so Steve must go back to crime to raise the money for a life-saving blood transfusion. This is familiar plot setup if you’ve watched many Taiwanese black films – the endless moral quandary between needing money to help loved ones but not resorting to evil in order to get it. And it pans out pretty much as you’d expect. So where do the ninjas come in?

At 30 minutes in, Nick has his first ninja encounter above the rooftops of Hong Kong (apparently the ninjas belong to Hector Bates, who has a squad of them on speed dial – he is, after all, no Mr Rogers). A couple of black-suited nasties come at Nick and he makes light work of them. A little later we get a fleeting purple-suited ninja, and a few characters seem to know their way around flying weaponry, but that’s really very little actual onscreen ninjing. I didn’t measure it but I’d guess we’re talking about the 3 minute mark, which is terrible behavior for a 90 minute film with Ninja in the title. There isn’t even the customary ninja showdown on Devil’s Rock at the end which, frankly, means the finale of this is a colossal letdown.

If you’re here as a ninjologist, you’ll get almost no pleasure from this one. The ninjas don’t do any magic (not even a single disappearing trick or supernatural costume change!) and feel superfluous. From a technical standpoint, it’s all middle-ground IFD. The stories don’t mesh as well as they could, the martial arts are quite workaday, the new footage has weird lighting that gives everyone a greenish hue like the Night Of The Living Dead colorisation and it’s all extremely restrained. Considering some of the nutty stuff Filmark were putting out at the same time, it’s weak and I’d have to say this is one for completists only. An average picture all round.

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